“Kelly has always known what she wants and gone after it.”
The above is a statement that has been expressed by some of my friends in the recent years. However, close friends will know that it was not until January 2009 that it proved to be true. I was forced to be introspective because I was not happy with my life and needed to figure out why in order to move forward.
The very first subject I thought about was “what kind of man do I envision myself with in the future?” I decided to focus on the main points and made the following list:
3 Dealbreakers:
(1) I cannot be with a man who does not have integrity.
(2) I cannot be with a man who is not 100% honest and open with me.
(3) I cannot be with a man with a bad temper.
3 Must Have’s:
(1) He must treat me better than my parents treat me.
(2) He must accept me for who I am today.
(3) He must be patient and good-natured.
I made the list in 2009, and it still holds true today. I was fully prepared to be single for the rest of my life if I could not find a guy who fulfilled my requirements. Coincidentally, I started dating hubby in April 2009 and when I discovered that he met every requirement, I knew he was a man I could marry.
My list is short and to the point. It zeros in on what mattered to me the most. Without it, I do not know if I would have married hubby. I would not have known what I wanted and would have missed out.
I encourage those that are single and looking for love to give my method a try. Everyone’s Dealbreakers and Must Haves are different, there is no rule except that it helps to be 100% honest AND to stick by what you write down. It is okay to change them time to time as your priorities change but it should not change because the guy you are dating is a smoker but gosh you love him so much that you can overlook the fact that he smokes(and assures you that he will be a life-long smoker) even though you listed no smoking as a dealbreaker. It will matter in the long run, because you will be complaining/secretly resenting/after your partner to give it up for the rest of your life.
The list is not the end all be all but it is a great starting point to figure out what are the main qualities you want your partner to posses.
